Forgiveness

Forgiving has to be one of the hardest acts known to human. Forgiving requires attention, it requires reflection and decision making.  Forgiving someone who's done you wrong, or even forgiving yourself, is not an easy pill to swallow. In today's blog, these core elements will be discussed: defining

forgiveness, the importance of forgiveness, steps to forgiving, and life afterward. 

Forgiveness- is the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.

Now that we have established the definition of forgiveness, let's go a little bit deeper.

Forgiving, in most cases doesn't benefit the other individual, but always benefits you.  The opposite of forgiving is to blame, hold grudges, retaliate, and carry unnecessary pain/ hate.  Forgiveness requires you of letting go of toxic energy and accepting, embracing love, peace, happiness, and freedom.  Forgiveness can be used in everyday life. When you grasp the understanding of forgiveness- your tolerance level is strengthened. Let me give you an example; everyone has been cut off while driving.. right?! I know I have- although that can piss you off and make you want to say some things (and maybe you have said some things in the past), with forgiveness, you can take a step back and say "Hey, I know that person just pissed me off, and they just hurt my feelings, and they just did something so unforgivable, or even I know I have done something terrible, I'm going to forgive that person/myself. I will forgive myself because dwelling on those negative thoughts, and guilt... is only going to set you in a bad mood and hinder you from enjoying life. 

When going about forgiveness, it takes a lot of reflection and patience. Most of the time the underlying root into why we are angry, or sad all the time is based on hurt or rejection that has happened. Instead of dealing with the issue, we tend to bury it deep inside.  

So I'm going to tell you some ways of learning how to forgive: 

Steps to Forgiving  

1. The first step is by identifying or uncovering the root cause- by doing this you're taking some time to find out what the problem is. It can be you, a spouse, a former partner, a parent, an abuser... whoever it is and taking the time to find out why you cringe when you see them, or why you are so critical or down on yourself. Even jealousy! Jealousy causes people to envy, and we despise ourselves or others blaming them for our lack of "acceptance" or "success". Bottom line- find the root cause!

2. You must now decide to forgive. Forgiving is an act of compassion. When you decide you are going to forgive yourself, or someone else you're taking control of the situation, remember forgiveness is not about the other individuals (unless you are the other person), forgiveness is about you, and your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

3. Actively work on forgiveness. You must be thinking, "But, how?" To work on forgiving you have to see the other individual from their lens. Learning more about them, and how they were raised, their coping mechanism, and etc. helps you see circumstances from a new perspective.  

4. Freedom. After you have found the root cause, have made a conscious decision to forgive, and are working on improving , the next step is freedom.  This step might actually be the hardest since you have to emotionally let go,( not forget,) but not let the emotional bondage stop you. You have charge of your mind, body, and soul, and by saying "No more will I allow pain, hurtful words, guilt, shame, and burdens to weigh me down"- YOU ARE TAKING POWER BACK!! You are emptying yourself of every painful, exhausting, and toxic trait/energy and embracing love, peace, and extreme joy from deep within. 

Don't go another day letting unforgiveness fester in your heart. Even if you can never talk to that specific individual again and ask them why? You can still choose to forgive because you'll be in a healthier state. So choose love. Choose to embrace the new you. Choose to forgive.

In my closing, I'll leave with this exercise:

Exercise: Someone has brought this approach to me and I'm going to share it with you. Close your eyes.. detox your mind from all the negativity, noise, and clutter, and say, I'M READY TO FORGIVE 3 TIMES SILENT AND 3 TIMES OUT LOUD. Then say, I'M READY TO EMBRACE NEW BEGINNINGS. 

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love~ Mahalia.