Breaking Free from Self-Loathing

Perhaps it all began by you just  showcasing your talent and gift and being rejected or laughed at. Perhaps you was the confident girl until you saw someone who seemed to have something “you don’t”. If you can relate I want you to know you’re not alone, you can see the light, there will be joy, and you’re more than enough.

Have you ever said these words at one point, “ I wish I were taller, skinny, flat nose, bigger hips, muscles, light-skin, dark skin, short hair, or long hair, I’m not good enough, that’s not possible for me?”  The list can go on. At one point in time, we all have been guilty of not loving ourselves the way we were created, leading to self-loathing and self-hatred. These patterns of thoughts create an internal voice that will constantly shame, judge, demean and find fault with one’s self. Leading a person to have no self-worth. Everyone has an  inherent worth and value but with self-loathing this person is always punishing themselves and berating their every flaw and mistake. This type of narrative can shape how a person views their world. From the eyes of self-hate.

What is Self-Loathing?

Self-loathing is defined as extreme self-criticism and self-judgment that stems from feelings of unworthiness, hopelessness, and incompetence. According to, google dictionary.

People who are or have experienced this, have a negative inner critic and have often experienced trauma or some sort of invalidation.

We all have an inner narrative that speaks, if you take the time to listen to that voice; is it speaking life or death? In other words, is it speaking positive or negative? If this voice is constantly speaking bad thoughts then I would like to introduce you to a new voice. A voice that encourages you, motivates you, corrects you in love, and leads you toward peace.

Take the time to figure out when these voices start and why is important. Knowing the moment or trigger you felt like you weren’t good enough or why you can’t look in the mirror often can sometimes stem from childhood trauma or difficulty moving past mistakes. Let’s take a moment to look at the causes of self-loathing.

Causes

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)Trusted Source, these experiences may include:

• childhood trauma

• domestic violence

• sexual, physical, or emotional abuse

• poor family environment

• low self-esteem

According to Mental Health America (MHA), feelings of self-hatred may also result from:

• comparisons of oneself and others

• unrealistic high expectations of oneself

• extreme self-criticism

• inability to let go of past mistakes

• feelings of isolation or a desire to belong

• force of habit

These symptoms or feelings of self-loathing can take many forms but typically is the lack of trust in one’s self and self-compassion. So how do we heal this voice to not be so harsh?

How to heal from self-loathing

1.     Identify the root cause of your self-hatred- what happened  in your life that causes you to feel unworthy, to lose hope, or to feel like you’re not smart or good enough?

2.     Find your new identity- when you have identified the root cause and ask Christ to heal you from the root. Also, ask Christ to replace it with his truth of who you are in him. You’re worthy. You’re important, you’re capable, you’re good enough, you’re strong enough, and you’re beautiful /handsome. Discovering your identity separate from the one of your lies that you believed to be truth

3.     Change the narrative – start to tell yourself you’re who God says you are. Speak life to yourself. God made no mistakes when he made you,  your trauma or mistakes don’t have to guilt trip you because Jesus has paid for it. All youI have to do is repent. I encourage you to speak these words over yourself,  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, I am brave, I am loved, I am not mediocre, I am light, loved, and valuable, and I have a part and purpose in God’s plan.

What God says about you

If you’re struggling with your self-worth and constantly talk negatively about yourself you’re special and you matter to God. He loves you so much that he doesn’t want those voices to no longer take control of your life anymore.  There is a powerful scripture in Ephesians that states:

Ephesians 2:10

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Knowing we are God’s unique creation, designed for a purpose, he can help you positively view yourself. All you have to do is just ask him and take practical steps to be intentional when that thought or you begin to criticize yourself. If you want effective change, then you have to be intentional and a little radical about wanting change and better. Every time you criticize yourself immediately counteract and say something positive, learn to love yourself the way God loves you. Ask God for his love to transform your perspective of yourself and your world. Most importantly know that you’re worth better and a bright future: so much that a man named Jesus took your place and paid the debt for that self-loathing. So every time you think of Jesus on the cross think of that word that it was paid for. So you don’t have to pay  with it now, you can be delivered from that burden now.

In the name of Jesus, I thank you for the person reading this blog who suffers and struggles with their self-worth, and believing good is for them. Lord when you created them in your image you said it was good. So every voice and every lie that is telling them otherwise from your nature and what you said about them. I decree that it is dismantled and silent and never to be attached to them again in the powerful name of Jesus. We thank you for liberation for in your presence there is liberty. We thank you in advance for changing their perspective, healing their mind, and replacing it with your truth. I ask in your son’s name that today moving forward they will see a change that only you can do. In Jesus name Amen.

I pray that this blog encouraged and open your eyes to believe that God is intentional about you and he paid the price for your freedom. So don’t let this moment pass you, claim your healing, and  your breakthrough because you’re  already an overcomer. Until next time be safe and may God bless you.

Love,

Mahalia💛💛