Identity (who Are You)

Identity:(Who are You)?

   Identity is defined as the fact of being who or what a person is. It also can be defined as the set of beliefs we have about the characteristics we possess. Our self-concept is rooted in our culture; meaning that everything we feel, think, and say is connected to our culture whether you think so or not. Many of you identify with labels such as anorexia, unworthiness, depression, low self-esteem, hopelessness, being ugly, fat, short, not built enough, invisible, a failure, and etc. On the other hand, a lot of you identify with attributes like out-going, brave, determined, beautiful and more. From the day you were born people have placed labels on you, categorize you into departments that will best suit them. We prejudge people before we get to know them, we say things before we think about how those words will affect someone else. Identity becomes who you are, and it determines your perception of life.

When you have been told all your life that you are no good, that you will always be alone, that no one will ever love you, you're not that smart, that you shouldn't aim too high because no one in your family has ever made it through high school let alone college and that it's just the way things are, they create unnecessary pedestals. These words will make you feel like you constantly have to live up to high expectations and that no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to overcome any of these things.

You don't have to identify with being sad and feeling unworthy, you don't have to identify with being angry all the time, you don't have to identify with settling, you don't have to identify with the pain, and you do not have to identify with anxiety and guilt. I know so because I've been through it. I have struggled for years with the constant thought of "Am I worth loving?" "Am I  pretty enough" "Am I  the right or even the perfect size?" I've let those things those labels take my joy, peace, sense of worth, and confidence until one day I said NO MORE. No longer would I let society say what beauty is. No longer would I accept the things and attributes that don't bring me positive vibes and joy. I wanted better for myself, and until I changed how I viewed myself.  My mindset would always be stuck in a dark place. Also I understand what it feels like to have this weight on your shoulders to do right. I grew up in an environment that every move I made was being watched and judged. I could do no wrong, it wasn't even an option because every action and word spoken out of my mouth would be a reflection on my parents.

But there was hope... Luckily, I came from a family that taught me faith; those foundations and principles carried me through a lot of lonely nights, a lot of tears soaking through my pillows, a lot of beating myself up, and a lot of praying for forgiveness. I didn't want to be identified as a person who can't and won't let anyone close to her because of the fear of abandonment. I didn't want to be identified as someone who is angry with the world because of trauma- so I change my perspective. I changed my identity.. stripped off the masks that I wanted people to see, and revealed who I truly was. It wasn't until I felt comfortable enough until I felt beautiful enough and confident enough to embrace and reveal who I really was. Underneath all that pain, makeup, masks, insecurities, loneliness, anxiety, and guilt, there was a young lady who was BEAUTIFUL, WORTHY, CONFIDENT, HAPPY, KIND and ENOUGH. And she was ready to show the world who she really was.

So I tell you there is a better way: a more fulfilling identity that will give you peace, joy, and freedom. Ask yourself "Who am I?" "How do I see myself?" "Am I proud of myself?" If you ask yourself those four questions, I'm certain that you will find all the answers you need.

You're amazing, your existence matters!!! No one in this entire world can sing like you, draw like you, do makeup like you, dance like you, create, inspire, preach, clean, play games, etc. like you. You're UNIQUE! You stand out. So don't let anyone- even your own mind tell you that you are not good enough. There is a famous passage from the bible that states, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made"(Psalms 139: 14) meaning that you were created in goodness. Everything about you, flaws and all are good. Those things that you're afraid of people seeing can be turned around for good. So with all of that being said, I leave you with this question: Who do you want to become? Step out and embrace your new beginnings. Get rid of every negative hindrance in your life, and LOVE YOURSELF.